Some conversations are trickier than others. Depending on your relationship and the circumstances of your pregnancy, telling your boyfriend you are pregnant can either make or break your relationship. Here are a few tips for making the announcement.
First, Have You Confirmed Your Pregnancy?
A late period and a positive pregnancy test may not be all you need to confirm your pregnancy. We recommend you add a limited obstetrical ultrasound to get more information.
There are three basic questions an ultrasound answers. Do you know the following?
1. Is My Pregnancy Developing, or Have I Miscarried?
Experts estimate that 26% of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage, and 80% of those happen within the first 12 weeks. Because it takes a woman’s body time to return to pre-pregnancy hormone levels, you can get a positive pregnancy test result days or weeks after a miscarriage.
2. How Far Along Am I?
Knowing the exact number of weeks you’ve been pregnant is essential. For one reason, if you are considering abortion, the number of weeks determines the abortion procedure you qualify for. If you’ve recently had more than one sexual partner, knowing the exact number of weeks will help you determine who is the father.
3. Is the Pregnancy Located Correctly?
Although rare, some pregnancies are ectopic. This type of pregnancy grows outside the uterus and is extremely dangerous, even life-threatening. You will need to see your healthcare provider as soon as possible if you have an ectopic pregnancy.
Telling Your Boyfriend
Once you’ve confirmed your pregnancy is developing and know how far along you are and that it’s not ectopic, you’re ready to have the conversation. There are a few things to keep in mind as you talk:
Are You Safe?
If your boyfriend has anger issues or violent tendencies, you want to be careful how and where you tell him. Take a trusted friend or family member with you to break the news. Choose a public place if you don’t feel safe.
If your overall relationship has been marked by violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). No one should have to stay in an abusive relationship. You deserve respect and dignity.
Give Him Time to Absorb the News
There’s no easy way to start the conversation. You can either show him your positive pregnancy test or the ultrasound confirmation. You were probably shocked when you saw the positive pregnancy test. He’ll be shocked, too. Don’t let his first reaction determine what you do next. Give him time.
If your relationship is strong and loving, we encourage you to take him with you for ultrasound confirmation. If it’s rocky, you may want to wait to tell him until after you’ve confirmed you are actually pregnant.
Keep Talking
If possible, keep the communication lines open after the initial announcement has sunk in. Although the decision on handling the pregnancy is ultimately up to you, having his support and opinion is vital. No one should have to make this decision on their own.
How Can HopePlace Help?
We can help you with a free, highly accurate pregnancy test. If the test is positive, we may be able to offer a referral for a free ultrasound plus cover the cost of transportation. We can also talk with you and your boyfriend about the different options for your pregnancy.
Although we do not perform or refer for abortion, we can give you factual information about abortion procedures, side effects to expect, and potential physical and emotional risks. You have other options, too.
Call or text us at (870) 352-8506, or complete our confidential online contact form. We can confirm your pregnancy and discuss how to tell your boyfriend about it. We’re here for you.